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Sometimes I had nothing in common with the guy but there was a sexual spark. Thanks everybody, gonna be a soggy.

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Like, once is fine. But every time???

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Oh, and one from a box on his nightstand — NOT some prehistoric, probably-torn wrapper buried in his wallet. Giphy 3.

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Disposing of said condom discreetly. AKA: not tossed on the floor, leaving behind a splotch of crusty splooge that will haunt me until I finally clean it.

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Giphy 5. Giving you the towel.

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Offering stuff one should offer any guest. Yes, part of being a good hookup buddy overlaps with stuff moms do when their friends come over for drunk Uno. Offering water, for sure. Snacks are optional, but obviously highly recommended.

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